…TC2W offered the framework, context, and activities for parsing this brokenness (i.e., what is good and broken in my thinking, feeling, believing, and acting?) and then discerning a more faithful way forward. It culminated with me writing a prayer to start my day and a simple prayer for when I sensed the broken pattern emerging.
Read More…TC2W help me to take a moment for myself and breathe. It was not that I was ignoring the tension or situations by pausing for I embraced them. It was more like instead of trying to peddle upstream, letting the current take me where I needed to go.”
Read MoreThe following is transcribed from the Making It Work podcast, Episode 1: Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome, brought to us by our friends at the Theology of Work Project and Fuller’s De Pree Center (This segment begins at 23m:18s, though the whole thing is worth listening to! Check out other episodes here).
“When I first came on as a consultant to this company, everyone has been the master of their particular space, their industry and they're very protective..."Who's this woman coming in, asking me for stuff and doing this stuff?"...
...I had written a simple email requesting something for a meeting and instead of just giving me a deck that had already been prepared, this guy wanted to lecture me on how I was going to deliver stuff. And I got like a cat, the hairs were jumping up on my head. And I'm like, "I wanna get this guy. No, he didn't, how dare he question me?" And I was in the midst of The Call to Work, and I was sitting at dinner with my boyfriend. I slammed down my phone and he's like, "What's going on with you?" And I'm like, "Aah, nothing." And in my head, I went through that checklist of, "What is healed and what is broken and what is good."
And I said, "What's good is this guy knows his stuff. And he knows I know my stuff, because I wouldn't have been hired." What's broken is, "You know what, we don't know one another well enough”… I've been consulting for about a month, and we haven't really struck up any kind of bond outside of that.
So I tailored my response, was a little less curt than what I initially wanted to do. And then I asked him, "So how are you doing?" I later found out that his grandfather, who practically raised him, was in hospice care and was expected to pass any day. I learned that he had some other things going on…So ever since then, we were able to have an interaction that isn't just work. It's not like we're best of friends but we have respect for one another.
Had I responded in my old way- my form of "I'm gonna check this guy and put him in his place," I would have missed out on a deeper relationship of knowing more about him, of being able to show him that love and grace that he needed at that very moment when his world was turning upside down. I would have missed my calling…had I responded in…the way Erin would want to and not the way Christ would want me to."
…and it's really changed the way I approach potential customers. Before TC2W, I would usually do some homework on the customer, looking for ways to help them connect with and see the value of our products. I would rehearse the various arguments that I thought might help to convince them to buy our products.
Now, I approach potential customers much more relationally - looking mostly to get to know the customer, and to better understand their context, their views of the world and what changes they'd like to see at their organization. Only when I sense that our product might further them towards the goals they've already expressed do I look to share more. And even then, I'm not trying to convince them of anything. I'm simply sharing information that I think might be helpful to them - including information unrelated to our product. I do more listening and less talking now. I am better at connecting with people, and setting the stage for longer term relationships vs. transactions. I more commonly see my work as a way to bless customers vs. seeing them just as the means toward growing my business. God has grown my love and care for potential customers, and I am grateful. I'm guessing my potential customers are too.”
...I realized it was something I had to address. He and I had been distrusting each other around the death of a relative and who should manage her estate. I wasn't trusting his intentions, and in turn, he wasn't trusting mine. He accused me of wanting to take her money and it was breaking my heart. I was the one by her bedside for the last months she was alive, caring for her in her suffering and it was an obligation for me to steward her resources in her death. My Dad's language was hurtful and I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to forgive him for treating me this way.
As I walked through the exercises, recognizing how God is at work in this situation, it became clear that my Dad's reaction was not about me but about his own grief, and the Christlike response was not one of judgment or anger against my Dad, but simply letting him know what it was like to be with this relative in her last days, and reassuring my Dad that she cared for him.
Just after we did the practice session, and prayed for God's assistance, my phone rang. It was my Dad. I was able to explain to him exactly what I had just articulated in the Kingdom Orientation Worksheet, with the assurance and honesty of a Christ-led heart, and the response from my Dad was beautiful. We shared a moment of love and appreciation, and I hung up the phone feeling like whatever I give up to God, no matter how hard it is, when I apply these frameworks, the relationship outcomes will be fruit-bearing. I am so grateful for these resources. Thank you!"
