Discerning the Lord's guidance

Danika Mitcham, Vice President of Supporter Operations for Compassion International, shares practical examples of keeping in step with the Spirit.

As believers, we are given the Holy Spirit to lead and guide us in all areas of life – including the decisions we make in the day-to-day. Ephesians 1:13 reminds us that, in Christ, we “were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.” Paul wrote in Galatians 5:25, “Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.” 

At Compassion, one of our Core Values is Discernment, so that we can strive to make Spirit-led decisions as we pursue God’s will to accomplish our mission together. In our Leadership Expectations, leaders are expected to, “in alignment with Compassion’s vision, prayerfully discern the future God is calling your team to.” We can’t do that unless we are regularly seeking to hear from the Lord and adopting specific practices that help us do that in the workplace. 

In my 18 years with Compassion, my favorite teaching moment was a talk on discernment from Jimmy Mellado, our President & CEO. Discernment requires being attuned to the voice of God, and it is important to our work that we take the time and make space to hear the voice of God, through his Holy Spirit, before we act.

One of the ways the my team and I were able to grow this past year was through the spiritual practice of an intentional discernment exercise called Attunement. Throughout the year, our team started each planning meeting with this exercise. This practice helped us to quiet the noise of the day and release hard situations we were dealing with to the Lord, so we could focus on where He was leading us. This has been an amazing experience to walk through in community as a team, and each of us has been impacted in different ways.  

One of my team members, Sang Lee, noted, “The exercise helped me focus on God first with a prayer … and I think the Attunement exercise is going to help us slow down and put God at the center of every part of our decisions.” I have felt this same thing. During my daily work, I now think to myself, “I am not going to respond until I have a chance to walk through the discernment exercise.” It helps me pause and calm my mind before reacting. I am able to become aware of where I am, remove distractions and bring an open mind and heart to the Lord.

In this posture before the Lord, I have been able to deepen my listening. Not just ordinary listening, but listening for what is good and holy, what is broken, what is my contribution, and what is impacting others. This has resulted in a change in how I approach relationships. I engage in this exercise with God before approaching my neighbour. Even though some things I hear in this moment of quiet before the Lord are hard to hear, it ultimately is healthy and helps give me boldness to resolve unspoken conflict within relationships. It truly has been an amazing, empowering experience for me and my team, and it has increased our reliance on and connection to God in the day-to-day.

How can you intentionally bring discernment into everyday life? What practices do you currently have in place individually or on your team that lead to discernment and reflection before action? 

We all have room for growth in seeking God’s will and aligning our response. There are resources available, like the Attunement exercise our team has implemented, to help foster this growth. May we all take steps together as a community to be intentional in discernment, so we can grow to be more in tune with the Spirit and ultimately more like Christ. And, as we live out a commitment to discernment, we can be even more effective in our calling to be a part of God’s Kingdom coming, His will being done, on earth as it is in heaven. 

Author: Danika Mitcham, Vice President of Supporter Operations, U.S. for Compassion International  

"And in the tension of it, there has been such beauty and transformation"

"A couple of good friends and I decided to go into business together about a year ago. Although things have gone very well, there have definitely been growing pains for each of us. In the awkward tensions of expanding from friends to colleagues, we’ve felt a growing need to process through some of the more difficult personal and interpersonal issues that have come up. Earlier this year, despite some resistance to setting aside the time during a very busy season, we decided to go through an Attune Module, to help us do this deeper processing.

At first, it felt a little uncomfortable to bring God and spirituality into our workflow. The module also stretched us to share in more open ways - to kind of pull back the curtain and let others see what’s going on inside of your head and heart. It sometimes felt pretty raw and vulnerable. And as someone who tries to be composed and thoughtful in my approach to others, the idea of opening up about my emotions was downright scary.

But it also felt safe. Having Erin and Tracy there as a gracious and guiding presence was deeply, deeply important. And the way the lens itself is set up helps to create a safe and intentional space for sharing. When someone is truly listening to you, caring for you and asking really thoughtful questions – it’s hard to keep on avoiding the hard places. The lens also gave us a way to approach each other and the hard conversations we need to have in a way that doesn’t feel like interrogation, that doesn’t feel inappropriate. We now have a framework to process the hard emotions.

And in the tension of it, there has been such beauty and transformation. It’s given us genuine tools to know how to ask good questions, and to position ourselves in a place of listening and not offering advice or guidance. It reminds us that we’re held by something larger than ourselves. We have our team supporting us, and we have Attune supporting us, and then we have God there encompassing the whole thing.

This experience has given us more insight into what’s happening internally and below the surface within ourselves and each other, allowing us to naturally address issues at a deeper level. It’s helping us develop a more trusting and honest team dynamic. Even the starting point of certain conversations are so much deeper than before. We certainly haven’t “arrived” yet, and I don’t know if we ever will – but it feels healthy – I keep coming back to that word. It just feels healthy."

“I have been thinking about throwing my hat in the ring for quite some time - for years actually, but for a whole host of reasons, I've been very reluctant."

"I am on the board of an organization that is searching for its next CEO. I have been thinking about throwing my hat in the ring for quite some time - for years actually, but for a whole host of reasons, I've been very reluctant. As of a couple of weeks ago, all of these half-formed thoughts kept racing round and round in my head. I felt stuck.

And then Tracy took me through an attunement exercise. I actually came planning to talk about something entirely different, but this issue came to the fore when Tracy asked what was most important to address. The exercise took me past what had mostly been a mental, intellectual exercise. It helped me identify my feelings and emotions – things I usually don’t talk much about. It helped me take a step back and think more internally and more holistically, allowing me to put into words what I was thinking. Before this, I don’t think I had really been owning what I was thinking and sensing. And I think there was a kind of security I found in the ambiguity. As long as it was just a vague sense of something, I could probably have had this conversation in my head for another year before having to do anything about it.

Through the exercise, however, I identified that some of what I was feeling was fear. I identified some of the things that had been holding me back. I sensed God meeting me in my fear, and that he wanted me to make myself available to be a part of the solution, including being willing to consider the CEO role. It didn’t mean that I would actually be selected for the role, but I didn’t need to worry about that.

I walked away from the exercise with a sense of relief, even though this would lead to so many more unknowns about the future for me and my family. The outcomes were out of my hands. I could not control the situation - but I could engage with what’s next. This sense was affirmed and expanded over the next few days. He’s letting me know it’s OK to look at this CEO role. Even if it doesn’t work out – even if I get rejected – he’s got me. It’s OK. Be strong and courageous.

I feel energized. I feel at peace. I feel comfortable not being in control. In the face of all the unknowns, I know God will walk me and my family through this."

"This new, exciting season for our business continues to feel like we’ve gotten on a roller coaster that we can’t get off of."

Heading into the end of the year, we were running at a pretty fast pace. To help us stay on the tracks, we set aside some much needed time to pause, reorient and fix everything that was not working. There was so much to do - so much to figure out. It was time to reset and rebuild.

We brought in Attune to facilitate some times of reflection and discernment to help us with this. These sessions helped us tease out so many different ideas around the various aspects of the business and the ways we work. A lot of what surfaced related to “getting off the roller coaster,” with a central theme taking shape from our time together: 

"Let it be easy, let it be fuzzy."

As a team, we’ve agreed to lean into this beautiful invitation from God. But truth be told, we’re actually more comfortable and familiar with the roller coaster – where we attempt to take the reins in every aspect of our work, striving towards a greater sense of clarity and control. Getting off this roller coaster is a real struggle that is hitting a nerve within each of us – permeating throughout all of our lives.

For me, it’s a constant push and pull. In all the various moments which confront me with something I don’t know how to do, it typically first feels like panic and a sense of “I have to figure this out. I have to create a grand masterplan so I know what I’m doing.” But then I take a moment, and there’s this gentle reorientation. It’s a call to trust more in what God has for me versus my own ability to figure this out. 

"Ok, hang on – let it be easy - maybe it’s ok not to know.”

The panic subsides.  What takes its place is not quite full relief, but it is peace of mind. I take on a new perspective that says “This doesn’t make a ton of sense to me, but I know that doing less and trusting more is the right way forward.” I don’t gain clarity, per se, but I do gain a sense of internal alignment. The other way can feel fragmented. This way brings wholeness. It feels healthier – like a breath of fresh air. 

“It feels like freedom. It feels like shalom."

“I was recently invited to be the speaker for the live case study in my Attune cohort."

...I had some fear in bringing this very controversial topic up, but our cohort really has become a community of grace and it was a very helpful exercise to go through the lens with the group.

I came into the case study thinking this was about following the rules, and wanting help addressing some conflict I was experiencing with loved ones around following the rules. I came in with a lot of anxiety and heaviness. As we did some of the deeper work, God really showed me this is both about following practices that protect our neighbors, but also about keeping relationships healthy. There is so much loneliness in this season, and following the rules can lead to isolation if we’re not careful to connect with others.

When we came to the part of the lens where we intentionally paused to listen to the Holy Spirit, I felt the biggest transformation occur. Instead of something weighty and serious, it seemed almost as if God was joking with me – gently teasing me about my constant googling in search of information and answers. I sensed from God a kind, lighthearted and humorous invitation to put down the phone and instead try talking to him more. As someone who really struggles to do the right thing and to be seen as right, this lightness was a really important part of God’s guidance for me in particular. God let me know that he takes this situation just seriously enough, and that it would be helpful for me to learn to see this with more humor, and with less of a framework of right and wrong.

Since going through the lens, our family has chosen to engage in outdoor face-to-face interactions with others. Hearing God’s guidance has helped me to shift my focus away from fear about getting myself and others sick, and helped me to better look for and affirm the gifts that come out of the interactions. It still feels complicated to know and love our neighbors while still keeping everyone safe, but I don’t feel nearly as alone as I did before. I know that God is with us in this. I sense his nearness and care, and know we don’t need to decide everything by ourselves."

“Years ago, I became an accidental entrepreneur..."

...having started a small business without knowing anything about business and feeling wholly inadequate. In the end, I fell in love with building a business. Over the years, I developed friendships with lots of small business owners, discussing our challenges and opportunities and comparing notes about key issues. I found myself getting so much out of these conversations, which would inevitably involve a mix of tactical business and broader life concerns. Our discussions naturally evolved to include the deeper dynamics of personality issues, insecurities and blind spots.

After selling my business, I thought I’d start up a coaching practice to allow myself to continue to have these life-giving dialogues. I had recently done some volunteer business coaching in Africa and found those experiences to be equally life-giving. So, I hung out a shingle as a business coach, and took on my first paying clients in the US. What I discovered, however, was that this wasn’t fun for me at all. Now what?

Looking for guidance from God, I processed through the situation using the Key Relationships Lens, and I gained all sorts of insights into why some interactions had been so fulfilling while others had been the opposite.  In the prayerful pause, I saw the image of a chunk of dry ice being dropped into a bucket of water sitting on the counter top.  Fog billowed out and poured over the edges of the bucket, then began to fall in curtains onto the floor.  More and more of the fog continued to billow and flow out of the bucket. It was an image of the expansive nature of God’s wisdom and Kingdom.  His wisdom in and through me is boundless, and I had been looking through the much more narrow lens of “how can I make money having business conversations with people.” 

I realized that maybe I had been too quick to give myself a title for what I was doing in the US. I didn’t have a good vocabulary for what I wanted to offer to clients, and this was leading to clients who were asking me to offer something very different from what brings me life. Since that insight, I’ve officially stopped calling myself a ”business coach.”  I am okay with being less defined for the time being. I am praying about how God may want to develop and exercise my spiritual gifts.  Even though the future is unclear and uncertain, I am excited for it. I am grateful for the exercise."