The following is transcribed from the Making It Work podcast, Episode 1: Perfectionism and Imposter Syndrome, brought to us by our friends at the Theology of Work Project and Fuller’s De Pree Center (This segment begins at 23m:18s, though the whole thing is worth listening to! Check out other episodes here).

“When I first came on as a consultant to this company, everyone has been the master of their particular space, their industry and they're very protective..."Who's this woman coming in, asking me for stuff and doing this stuff?"...

...I had written a simple email requesting something for a meeting and instead of just giving me a deck that had already been prepared, this guy wanted to lecture me on how I was going to deliver stuff. And I got like a cat, the hairs were jumping up on my head. And I'm like, "I wanna get this guy. No, he didn't, how dare he question me?" And I was in the midst of The Call to Work, and I was sitting at dinner with my boyfriend. I slammed down my phone and he's like, "What's going on with you?" And I'm like, "Aah, nothing." And in my head, I went through that checklist of, "What is healed and what is broken and what is good."

And I said, "What's good is this guy knows his stuff. And he knows I know my stuff, because I wouldn't have been hired." What's broken is, "You know what, we don't know one another well enough”… I've been consulting for about a month, and we haven't really struck up any kind of bond outside of that.

So I tailored my response, was a little less curt than what I initially wanted to do. And then I asked him, "So how are you doing?" I later found out that his grandfather, who practically raised him, was in hospice care and was expected to pass any day. I learned that he had some other things going on…So ever since then, we were able to have an interaction that isn't just work. It's not like we're best of friends but we have respect for one another.

Had I responded in my old way- my form of "I'm gonna check this guy and put him in his place," I would have missed out on a deeper relationship of knowing more about him, of being able to show him that love and grace that he needed at that very moment when his world was turning upside down. I would have missed my calling…had I responded in…the way Erin would want to and not the way Christ would want me to."  

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…and it's really changed the way I approach potential customers. Before TC2W, I would usually do some homework on the customer, looking for ways to help them connect with and see the value of our products. I would rehearse the various arguments that I thought might help to convince them to buy our products.

Now, I approach potential customers much more relationally - looking mostly to get to know the customer, and to better understand their context, their views of the world and what changes they'd like to see at their organization. Only when I sense that our product might further them towards the goals they've already expressed do I look to share more. And even then, I'm not trying to convince them of anything. I'm simply sharing information that I think might be helpful to them - including information unrelated to our product. I do more listening and less talking now. I am better at connecting with people, and setting the stage for longer term relationships vs. transactions. I more commonly see my work as a way to bless customers vs. seeing them just as the means toward growing my business. God has grown my love and care for potential customers, and I am grateful. I'm guessing my potential customers are too.”

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...I realized it was something I had to address. He and I had been distrusting each other around the death of a relative and who should manage her estate. I wasn't trusting his intentions, and in turn, he wasn't trusting mine. He accused me of wanting to take her money and it was breaking my heart. I was the one by her bedside for the last months she was alive, caring for her in her suffering and it was an obligation for me to steward her resources in her death. My Dad's language was hurtful and I wasn't sure if I was ever going to be able to forgive him for treating me this way.

As I walked through the exercises, recognizing how God is at work in this situation, it became clear that my Dad's reaction was not about me but about his own grief, and the Christlike response was not one of judgment or anger against my Dad, but simply letting him know what it was like to be with this relative in her last days, and reassuring my Dad that she cared for him.

Just after we did the practice session, and prayed for God's assistance, my phone rang. It was my Dad. I was able to explain to him exactly what I had just articulated in the Kingdom Orientation Worksheet, with the assurance and honesty of a Christ-led heart, and the response from my Dad was beautiful. We shared a moment of love and appreciation, and I hung up the phone feeling like whatever I give up to God, no matter how hard it is, when I apply these frameworks, the relationship outcomes will be fruit-bearing. I am so grateful for these resources. Thank you!"

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...even in concerns about work that I assumed were too minor to bring to him. For example, I was feeling frustrated with one of my organization’s vendors, a contract company we have worked with for several years. The timeline on a recent project had been derailed by mistakes made by the vendor. I was feeling impatient with these delays and even starting to wonder if it was time to end our relationship with this person. Could I continue trusting her to do good work? 

Through The Call to Work, God showed me that the real issue underlying my frustration and impatience was fear. My identity felt threatened. Fear of failure and fear of looking bad to others drove me to blame and distrust this person. It’s true that she had made mistakes, but my fear was narrowing my perspective on the situation. Instead of envisioning solutions and potential positive outcomes – outcomes where God’s grace could overflow even in the midst of others’ mistakes or things out of my control – the fear clouded my mind with negative possibilities, fueling feelings of frustration and impatience. During The Call to Work, God invited me to give Him my fear and rest in His peace, to trust His grace to be at work in this project, even when it wasn’t going as planned. Without the cloud of fear, I knew that I could forgive the vendor – who had done plenty of good work over the years – for her mistakes. Most importantly, Jesus replaced my sense of fear with a sense of love. He reminded me that my identity is not in others’ opinions of my work or success. Instead, I am found in God’s love.

Now, when I encounter similar situations that trigger impatience and frustration, I have the opportunity to practice remembering God’s love and changing my old habit  of reacting out of fear." 

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...I had a situation at work where I had to upwardly manage a difficult manager. In that situation I was able to take a step back to assess the situation holistically to understand the relationship i.e. what was good in the relationship, what was not optimal in the relationship, what would God want my approach to be etc. I was able to stay calm despite the tenuous relationship with my manager and approach our working relationship in such a manner that eventually led to me reporting directly to the Director of the group. Since then there has [been much less] strife at work and I am managing larger projects with higher visibility and responsibility.”  

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...She plays her music loud, is rude. I struggle with her daily. My natural feelings: I don’t like her. But the thing is I just came from a [long] quiet time with the Lord. What’s good about the relationship: we are both made in God’s image. We seem to have respect for each other’s space. The brokenness is: we’ve never communicated. 2 Peter 1:7 [says] “and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone.” So I prayed, then today I talked to her.  It’s the beginning. I let God [in]. It went well and we wished each other a [good day]."

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